I was dreaming of you And something inside told me I must wake Consciousness opened sorrow’s floodgates in my heart And the pain rushed in Poisoning another day Beyond you Past and away from you But never over… never ended… My spirit can’t be seen But it was broken


She takes off her clothes while I unpack my regrets throwing my money on the nightstand near where no one ever slept “Just for an hour”, I say I fear the future, see? Even as I want to scream at it, open arms flailing It can’t be any worse than where I’ve just been… These […]


You were the first rung on my ladder second to none Around your ankles my devotion hung As my fluids slipped under pink hips and caged ribs   Pried apart like you did my art   Lied to Loathed Deceived From the start   Nothing in you But a dead cold heart   Now, all […]

Search_lights< Redux

Blue-grey smoke holds allure Against the black Married in seamless perfection To my Cuban tobacco tongue Window down, system up Pulse pounds past giving a fuck Moonlight licking shore like Aromatic lips Each heart pluck a steel string Diamond diffusion Through broken tears   Necrotic muscle sends Septic plasma round Highways & byways Beneath mayonnaise […]

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I lay there in our motel bed, still damp with mingled sweat, looking dreamily up at you; sat astride me, drinking cold spiced beer from the bottle, naked except for a fuchsia bra. The left strap hung from your perfect shoulder, bathed in bathroom half-light. It was the last time I felt truly alive…


  I only left a hateful mess, despairingly On my way out the door So as you’d even fucking notice I’d been there, in love before… Now I’m longer ‘the nice guy’ unable to see the ‘bright side’ Eggs don’t chase sperm Never will, will never learn…      


  Wake in the middle of the night, in sometime to come? as the memory’s punch in the throat chokes you with realization’s grip Like I’ve tried to, in my sleep, Once grieving mouth moving to form Hissing syllables with once loving lips grazing sacramental skin Callous(ed) hands clasped tightly around your neck since your […]


I can’t love anyone. I can’t trust anyone. I’m socially anxious and awkward. I’m reclusive. I haven’t been able to work for over eight months. I have nightmares every other night. Searching fruitlessly behind cold blue irises in my dream state, for signs or the expression of depth. I have panic attacks randomly and in […]